Brace your fucking titties. This shits about to get real.
This post is about to be quite long. with lots of pics. not interested? keep scrolling.
Today i was the happiest I’ve been in so long. Like. its amazing. I was smiling randomly. I was incredibly happy. Everything clicked today. Lemme start with the upsetting part.
The past few days i’ve been upset about a few things. They just all piled up and finally got to me. Nothing helped. Not hookah, not Cudi, not even a walk in the rain. da fuck? i know. Lets be honest. it was that a girl didn’t know if she wanted to be with me i guess. It got to me. that and parents, and confusion with another thing got to me. Today I got a kick to the pants. I needed it. honestly? i had a good friend tell me something that it took me a long fucking time to realize last year. No one gives a shit for a long time. Thats perfectly fine. I fully understand. And I love her for telling me it the way i needed to hear it. That, along with another friend seeing my posts last night and sending me the nicest text i’ve ever gotten hit me like a train. Why am I chasing someone that doesn’t know for sure that they wanna be with me. Not be with me?
So ten minutes prior to walking to see my friend and talk about my shit thats going on (Maha’s awesome) (and catherine), it finally hit me.
I dont like being like that. I dont like being upset. it affects the people around me. people notice. my face gives everything away. i can’t hide a single emotion. Allow me to suck my own cock for just a minute. Just a minute. thats it.
This is fucking me. Me. I know what I am. I fucking know all the stuff about me. I’m a fucking catch and i know it. I’m attractive. Sure I didn’t become attractive till college. but its true now. Sorry, but i know, and i’m not gonna go around acting like its not true. I am funny as balls. I know i am. I make everyone around me in a better mood, and i’ve been told this on SO many occasions. I have a great body that I was blessed with/work for constantly. You are not gonna sit there and make me feel like i’m not good enough. I’ve been told I have swag. da fuck? i dont even think i do. but apparently. I dress well. dont believe me? fuck you. i honestly dont give a shit. I know i’ll be able to treat a girl someday with the full respect and everything she’s ever wanted. i know this. Today it hit me once again, that happiness is easily the best. the best. feeling in the world. I can’t stop smiling. I know all of this now. and i know. that if she finds someone like me, I’d love to meet him! I’ve always wanted to meet my twin. Swag out the ass.
Today was a day. Today was a day that refreshed me. Today was a day i realized I have the best friends in the world. Today is the day that Up up and away came on, and i couldn’t stop smiling. i started dancing as i was walking. yeah some guy saw me. but he’d be dancing too if he had half the happiness i did. and do. Today was the day i realized. I was giving a fuck. giving a fuck is for important shit. not this shit. and finally. things that aren’t about elephants, are irrelephant. If you read all of this, i love you unconditionally, and let me know what you think